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How many times do you get a text message on your phone which states “forward to 10 people and you will hear good news”… and you being naïve and gullible to the extreme power of the supernatural actually forward it to exactly 10 people only to find out that the good news was that you have run out of phone balance, some good news don’t you think?!

It’s very sad to observe that people forward all sorts of text messages, a few excerpts from the plethora that I receive on a daily basis are as follows (of course with some yummy spice mixed to mash up the jhankar beats):-

1) Please don’t ignore, one person received this message and he forwarded it and the next day he managed to sleep with a Victoria’s Secret angel, one person didn’t and all he got was Dr Firdaus Ashiq Awan.

 2) If you forward it to 15 people you will give back to the world and in turn be blessed with a house, a Mercedes s-class sedan, a beautiful daughter and a lovely wife, but if you don’t, may you burn in hell.

3)  Recite “insert divine text” exactly 333 times and you will hear good news before you go to sleep.

And what I fail to understand is why people actually forward if there are religious connotations associated with the text message. Not like it ever works. Superstitions have gripped our society like a cheetah pounces on its prey when it’s time to eat. It’s rather alarming because these very text messages are used to spread propaganda or achieve ulterior motives. Every forsaken conspiracy theory breeds like mosquitoes through this medium.

Supposedly  it’s people putting text message bundle packages to good use but seriously, text something that makes at least some sense if not a lot. I’d love to trace back text message trails to the person who actually types them out, must be some hard working bastard (all negativity meant). The weirdest poems in Urdu, the lamest jokes in English, the most absurd impotent supernatural vowing messages, everything goes here.

Not to mention if one joke strikes the fancy of someone it is discussed like matters of national security in properly organized round table conferences complete with food and drinks. Some influential proceeding one must commend.

Here I am sitting, staring at my phone with yearn that someone would text me and free me from my misery and all I get is:-

“Success comes to those who work hard, please work hard *insert weird text signature* “….

I mean of course no one knew that before this lovely text message started to flood inboxes nationwide and when you reply asking them to “stop texting me this crap” the worse possible reply follows : –

“You’re not patriotic; I am ashamed to call you a Pakistani”.

Of course if this nuisance pisses me off, it makes me a lesser Pakistani than the rest who blatantly without any consideration for other people forward these messages at the same rate the mullahs make babies.

I don’t care if forwarding brings me luck or teaches me the way the world operates. I don’t care if it brings me satisfaction, a good wife, and a lot of money, I don’t care if it blesses my phone and wards off all my demons, I really don’t care and all I can say to this extreme diligent method of getting the “right message across” is…

I don’t give a fuck!!!!!!

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9 thoughts on “Forward me to forward you?

  1. Haha… good one! can very well understand how bugging it is 😛 just go ahead and click ‘delete’ End of story :))

  2. hahaha…if you ignore…you’ll get Dr.Firdous Aashiq Awan…hilarious! 😀

    All text msgs which come up wid such gud/bad news stuff are fake…& most probably generated by da cell-companies demselves…maybe for da consumption of their packages…(jus my perception…cud be wrong)…but why da heck ppl believe such superstitious texts & forward dem too…dats insane..!! tho im in favour of forwardin ONLY “Authentic Ahaadis”…if i knw for sure it’s authentic…

  3. Whenever I used to get such sms/emails asking me to send it to 10 people, I remember couple of times what I did was to send it back to sender 10 times. No wonder those friends forget me while sending such emails now. Dont get angry when you get such sms, make them angry 🙂

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